to the goodness of God

All praise to our Father, who forgives instantly and waits for us to accept love and move forward.

Sometimes I spend days wallowing, WALLOWING, after I've sinned. And I blame it on God, the big tyrant in the sky keeping me stuck, asking me to atone, withholding grace until I've fulfilled my quota for misery. And suddenly I discover that he's been waiting for me on the back porch, checking his watch and tapping his feet as he hears me inside moping and pouting about, waiting, WAITING, for me to finally come outside and play.

I could have been playing!

In marriage Charlie and I get to teach each other more about the loving heart of God. In moments when Charlie is truly repentant but won't move forward into joy I understand how God must feel when I do exactly the same thing..."It's okay, I promise! You are forgiven. Come back to me! I want to enjoy this beautiful fall afternoon and some (Bailey's) hot cocoa with you!"

I am grateful for each of these moments when I finally accept grace. After so much unnecessary struggle I am freed from myself, reminded that I don't have to atone, and shown that I'm fully clean.

I feel light-hearted as I meditate on this but am also struck by the serious responsibility we have to not nullify the value of Jesus' sacrifice for our sins by spending time trying to atone for them ourselves. What an incredible, joyful obligation we are under to accept God's love!

It's time to go outside :)