updates!

Now is the time to revisit some past posts and give you updates on how some of my projects turned out...

Homemade Bubble Bath: partial fail. The coconut oil feels great, the essential oils smell great, but WHERE ARE THE BUBBLES? Not a one could be found. So I am officially changing this project's name to "Homemade Bath."

Homemade Dishwashing Detergent: partial fail. Everything was going smoothly until I added the Lemi-Shine and my powdery concoction almost immediately solidified into a brick, kind of resembling a salt lick. My grandma lived out in the country and had one of those. Anyway, I am still using it and it seems to work well. It just sucks to chisel it out of the tupperware with a butter knife. I'll let you know if I come up with any solutions.

By the way, interesting that I regard these two projects as "partial fails" instead of "partial victories." I will instead go the way of Joel Osteen and call them "partial victories."

Snowflake Lane (date night): epic success. When we got to Bellevue and walked into the fray, I cried. I am pregnant, which may have contributed to my overwhelming flood of emotions. But I am telling you, people...it was magical. Snow falling, happy Christmas music playing, and everyone was so happy and excited! I imagine it will be a little bit like this in heaven. I never, ever thought I'd compare downtown Bellevue to anywhere but hell. But there it is!

That's all for now. The happiest of merry weekends to you all!

date nights on the cheap

Hi friends!

Well, it's Christmastime, which means that Jesus gets a birthday and all of us run out of money.

In light of this, I was inspired during a conversation with Kristen from my Community Group to give you all a few suggestions for date nights that could save you some money during this pinched season.

1) Red Hook Brewery in Woodinville. Okay, I hate beer. But my husband loves it. And the Red Hook beer tour is only $1. That means two dollars buys you an hour or so of date night fun, the equivalent of two pints of beer for your husband (if you give your beer to him), and two cute little Red Hook glasses that are good for milk-and-cookie dipping moments. Afterwards you can head down to their restaurant and grab an appetizer (or a full dinner, but that's not very low-budget :)

2) Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park. Let me just say that the hot chocolate at Honey Bear Bakery in Third Place Books is really delicious. And you can linger over it in a for-here cup, or get it to go and spend time browsing shelves of new and used books. Their gift store also has some pretty awesome stuff to browse through. If you make it in early enough, the library downstairs might be open, and libraries are always a good place to find random, free DVDs to check out, which would make your cheap date night complete.

3) Subway is having Customer Appreciation Month, which for you and me means $2 6-inch subs (if you get Meatball, Cold Cut, or Veggie). Two dollars! Subway's not the most romantic place to spend date night, but it's a good cheap place to get started!

4) The Crest Movie Theater in Shoreline. This could be a good finish to your Subway date night. The Crest plays older movies and tickets are only $3 each. It's really fun, and a good chance to catch a movie you missed while it was in theaters. Last week Charlie and I saw The Help. Really cool movie.

5) Snowflake Lane in Bellevue. Haven't been yet but hoping to make it this week. Apparently there's a big fiesta on the streets of Bellevue at 7 p.m. that involves fake snow, a drum line, and peppermint-flavored suckers. All for free! Does it get any better? If you feel extra inspired, make the short jaunt up to Kirkland and visit Urban Coffee Lounge. I heard it's the best coffee on the Eastside, they may make you a cute Christmasy drink, and they're open until 9 or 10 p.m. all week (double check their site for exact hours).

That's all I've got off the top of my head. Please feel free to post more ideas in the form of a comment. Merry Christmas-ing!

budgeting words from the not-so-wise

Let me just start off by saying that I have no authority whatsoever to be writing a post about how to save on groceries. I'm serious. I have blown our grocery budget every month since we got married except for maybe one or two. My kind husband insists it's because we didn't budget enough. And while I want to agree with this assessment, it has still always made me feel like a failure in this area.

Given my deep desire to not fail, I have sought out ways to save.

My most time-consuming effort has been couponing. Websites like Coupon Connections and Thrifty NorthWest Mom are good places to start if you're interested. Be warned - couponing is not for the faint of heart. But when I am intentional about not letting it stress me out, and making it work into our family's schedule instead of being ruled by it, I generally have really good results. And it's actually kind of fun sometimes.

I have also made spreadsheets. Many, many spreadsheets. I have tried to track the cheapest price for different items of food, what store to buy them at, how much each recipe will cost, etc. This, friends, is not my forte. I remember dragging myself through Fred Meyer one night, Charlie at my side with his calculator, estimating our final costs and determining if we should buy peanut butter this time or wait. This didn't turn out to be the way to go for our family. Maybe it is for yours. You gotta find what works.

Okay, so here are ten ways I have found to save money on groceries.

1. Sometimes I try to cook meals without meat because meat is the single most expensive item to buy, especially organic. I found a website that describes what complete proteins are: http://www.fitsugar.com/Whats-Complete-Protein-Inquiring-Vegetarians-Want-Know-165298. The main reason (besides taste) that meat is good is because of the protein in it, and so making a complete protein by combining foods (like rice and beans) works just the same. And I learned that you don't even have to have them in the same meal - for example, you could have rice for dinner one night and a bean burrito for lunch the next, and it still works! It's a little complicated so I'm still trying to work it into our system. But something like Cowboy Caviar is delicious and does make a complete protein (corn and beans) and is also a good filler for burritos.

2. When a recipe calls for meat, I usually cut the amount by 1/3-1/2. Like I will only put half the amount of chicken in Chicken Tortilla Soup, but since it's shredded it still goes a long way and there's some in every bite.

3. When I'm buying a really big chunk of meat like a pot roast I usually don't buy organic. We just can't afford it right now. I've come to terms with that. Maybe someday.

4. I have started checking couponing websites like couponconnections.com to just see what's on sale, and then I'll find a recipe based on that. Like last week I saw that eggplant was on sale, so I googled "eggplant recipe" and found Eggplant Parmigiana. To be honest, it wasn't very good, but it served its purpose as dinner for a night. Google also has a new feature...if you search for a specific ingredient, in the left side toolbar you can click "Recipe" and can check boxes to indicate what other ingredients you do or don't have, and it will automatically narrow your search results for you. Pretty cool. So I've been trying to buy stuff on sale or with coupons.

5. I limit what I buy organic to three top priorities: meat, dairy/eggs (excluding cheese - for some reason I don't care if my cheese is organic), and produce on the "dirty dozen list" - the top 12 foods with the most pesticides in them, and the top 15 "cleanest." I wrote them on an index card and keep it in my wallet so I can reference it at the store. The rest of my produce I've decided it's okay to buy non-organic. And sometimes it just makes sense - why buy an organic watermelon or orange when you're going to throw away the outside anyway?

5. Soups are really good ways to get lots of nutrition without spending a lot.

6. Look at your last grocery receipt and pick one thing you could have made instead of bought. Sometimes it's just not worth it, but other times it is if you have the time - homemade brownies, bbq sauce, mayonnaise, hummus, bread stuff, breakfast muffins, etc.

7. Snacks and lunch supplements made of fruits and veggies tend to be less expensive than store-bought, packaged stuff like chips or whatever. But it depends on what your family will tolerate :)

8. Generally I tend to split my shopping between Fred Meyer and Trader Joe's. TJ's produce has never really worked out for me, and Fred Meyer tends to have a good organic selection. Safeway, Albertsons, QFC and Top Foods seem to be more expensive and I try to avoid them unless I'm going in for sales, looking for managers' specials, or have coupons.

9. Buy from the bulk section. Fred Meyer, QFC, Central Market, and Whole Foods all have bulk sections. This is almost always cheaper than buying a package of something. I always try to buy things like spices, arborio rice, nuts, and specialty flour bulk. Saves a ton of money.

10. Buy dried beans and google how to soak and cook them. This is super cheap, but does take time and planning ahead.

Here's what I've learned: you have to find what works for you and for your family. There are a million ways to save money. Pick one and start there. Baby steps. Homemaking is a lifetime endeavor - you don't have to be saving in every possible way at once. I promise you will burn yourself out if you try.

Or maybe you don't want to work at saving on your grocery bill. There are a million ways to earn money to supplement your budget, even from home. This works too. Get creative.

But don't forget that the whole point is to be a blessing to your family. If a certain method or activity gets too stressful or time-consuming, it may not be worth continuing, even if it means spending more. Adding an extra stop at an out-of-the-way grocery store to save fifty cents on beans might not be the best way to love your family if everyone's already tired. Buy that item at the more expensive price and call it wisdom. I learned this principle from Charlie. I didn't believe him at first but now it's starting to sink in.

By the way, a great resource for more information and ideas is MoneySavingMom.com. I haven't explored it in depth yet but I'm excited to dive in.

Okay, that's all I've got. I'd love to hear other ideas about this - please leave a comment!

caramel delight

Halloween Party tonight! Or, should I say...Harvest Celebration! My personal opinion it doesn't really matter either way. I am no closer to worshipping Satan than I am to harvesting anything. But to each his own. Either way, October 31 is a great excuse to hang out with people!

I bought some apple juice and will use last year's Trader Joe's mulling spices to kick things up a notch. But the real excitement is the caramel sauce! I know, my life has become so, so small... :)

Okay, so I've never made candy before. Always looked like a real pain. But today is Charlie sick and asleep in bed, unfortunately unable to entertain me, so it seemed like a good chance to try something new and potentially messy.

Here's how my first attempt turned out. I won't tell you the source of the recipe because I'm sure it's not her fault. I only had a meat thermometer that went up to 220 degrees. I just had to guess when to pull it off the heat. And apparently you're not supposed to scrape the sugar into the pan that got stuck on the sides? But I did. It was bothering me. Okay, anyway... here's what not to do:

Looks like barf. Might still taste good though... hmm...

And then I thought of my newest favorite blog, and she did not fail me! Pioneer Woman, thank you for a caramel sauce recipe that is truly easy, delicious, and seems like cheating but who cares.

The result:

Well, the picture's not very good, but I will tell you I have literally been back to the kitchen three separate times now to try to lick a little more out of the pan. So, so tasty. It will be perfect on top of cider and whipped cream!

Happy October 31!

cold weather comfort

Today I have a recipe for you.

It is most definitely soup weather, and I am embracing the season. I discovered this recipe last year and have made it countless times since. Call it a hug from me to you.

One note: I would only attempt this recipe if you have an immersion blender. I have never had good experiences with hot liquid in upright blenders. If you don't have an immersion blender, get yourself to Goodwill and buy one today! They are so super handy.

Enjoy!

Potato, Leek and Bacon Soup

serves 4-6, takes about 35 minutes

2 Tbsp. butter

2 large leeks, white and pale green parts only, washed and chopped

3 russet potatoes, peeled (or not) and chopped into small chunks

1 quart chicken stock

1/2 cup heavy cream

salt & freshly ground black pepper

chopped fresh chives for garnish (I use dried and add them with the leeks)

bacon, chopped into small pieces, cooked and drained on a paper towel (I added this to the recipe for Charlie, who thinks everything is better with bacon)

In large saucepan over medium-high heat, melt butter and saute leeks until soft, about 2-5 minutes. Increase heat and add potatoes and stock and cook until potatoes are cooked through and beginning to fall apart, about 15-20 minutes at a boil. Remove from heat. Submerge the immersion blender and puree until smooth with some chunks remaining. Add cream, blend to combine, season with salt and pepper. Put into bowls and top with chives.

On another note, want to know what one of my favorite dried herbs is? Parsley. It doesn't taste like much so you can basically add it to anything to make the meal look more fancy. I am all about fancy.

apartment therapy

Our bedroom! Done!

A few days ago I was wandering despairingly from room to room - are you noticing I do this often? - because once we got our furniture situated in the correct rooms I lost all motivation to finish decorating. Every room was undone and slowly causing me mild depression. This morning I came to my senses.

I woke up and realized there was nothing personal about our bedroom. I looked around and had no sense of context. Who am I? Where am I?! I realize these questions probably have deeper roots in my current identity crisis, but I decided the temporary solution would be to hang photos.

I'll let you know if I feel more situated when I wake up tomorrow morning, but in the meantime, here's a picture of how our bedroom has turned out so far. My favorite part is that Charlie loves it. He really wanted the bedroom to be a BEDROOM, not a multi-purpose/office/sewing/craft room. And he totally feels like we did it! Awesome! Because we are still in an apartment and not our Barbie Dream House, the sewing table did end up in this room. But it's hidden, tucked away in a little alcove. Bet you didn't even see it in that first picture, did you? Well, that's partly because of the camera angle. It's not totally your fault. Don't feel bad.

Surprise!

And just so you know, finishing this project has truly relieved a lot of mental angst. So my encouragement to you is to finish something! Anything! It's a surefire way to find a little bit of joy.

Homemade Dishwashing Detergent

It all started with the homemade laundry soap. I'm not sure if I shared about that, but it's been awesome. My most recent endeavor was making homemade dishwasher detergent. For no particular reason. I'm not so concerned with the earth right now, although that is a factor, and I'm not too worried about money, although that is also a factor. It mostly just sounded fun and home-makey. And now that I have a mechanical slave called a DISHWASHER I needed something to feed it.

So I made this lady's recipe (thank you, lady). And because we had some Amazon credit I bought the Lemi-Shine (didn't feel like emptying 50 packets of Koolaid into my washer) because I think it was cheaper per unit than the Citric Acid, and we already had the Borax and Fels-Naptha because of the laundry detergent. So for me, it was really cheap. I don't know about you. I don't think like that. My friend Allie thinks like that, and she does lots of calculating on her blog. It's awesome.

I'm really tired, so I don't have much more to say about this, except that it works. Our dishes are sparkly clean and I am a happy camper.

back in the saddle

Hello again, everyone!

Our move temporarily left me without internet, as well as time to blog, but I'm back. Nice to see you.

This house is slowly becoming a home. I spent a few days pacing between rooms, sighing and shaking my head as I surveyed the chaos that was our new apartment, but with the help of family and friends I am grateful to report that I am finally starting to feel settled. Our living room doesn't look like an attic, and we actually slept in the bedroom last night. This is major progress, people.

Will you be shocked to hear that these first few days of the fulfillment of my dreams of staying at home have not been pure bliss? No, I didn't think so. I wasn't either. Given my propensity to anxiety and dooms-day-ism, my tumult the last few days isn't surprising.

Quitting work has caused me to face some really important questions: Who am I now? What do I have to say for myself? Do I need to have anything to say for myself?

"So, what do you do?"

"Nothing..."

"I am unemployed. By choice. I am not a loser."

"I tidy our house. All day."

Yeah, I am obviously having some sort of identity crisis, but I know from experience that this is usually good. God shows me where I really find my worth and value, and usually it's not in Him, and so we work through this together. Not the first time, and I am confident good will result.

The thing that has been most hard is anticipating Charlie starting full-time work in November. I am realizing that in many ways I've run to him for safety, refuge, and protection, and have viewed God, who allows suffering and therefore doesn't always seem loving, as someone to be held at arm's length. Not quite safe. Not quite the kind of refuge I want.

In the midst of my questions and doubts about God, I allowed Charlie to become my center of gravity. He is a known entity, and sometimes I have the illusion that I can control him. Not so with God. So the thought of spending less time with Charlie and more time with God has caused some real panic.

I've been in prayer the past few days about the ways I view God, the things I unfairly accuse him of, the experiences I truly don't understand, my idea that true love doesn't allow suffering. It's been a rough weekend, but I kind of knew this day was coming and in some ways was looking forward to it. The lies we believe about God are enslaving. And I know Jesus doesn't like to see us in chains. I'm excited for freedom.

This morning I'm feeling hopeful. I sat down with some cocoa and my journal and laid before God my pride and accusations. That I have called me good and him bad. That I haven't believed the promises of the Bible, that I've trusted my own conclusions instead of the truth about who he is. And I'm still praying for him to break my heart, to really feel it and give it all up.

So, here I am. Chatting with you, mentally making a list of projects, plans to be in prayer through it all. Grateful for today, for God's faithfulness, and for all of you.

onions

Tonight I ran into our bedroom crying to Charlie. I couldn't take it! Not for one more second!

I started chopping this onion and tears began streaming down my face. Some onions are okay, but this one sent me over the edge. And you know what I think is really ironic about onions? The more I cry, the less I can see - I'm talking one squinted eye at a time - and so the faster I chop and the further away from the cutting board I get. Do you see the inherent danger? I'm sure this frantic scene is hilarious to watch.

Anyway, I just had to share. I'm sitting in our room while Charlie finishes the soup. At least the onion part of the recipe. What a good man.

our house is flipping us.

If “amiability during home improvement projects” is a measure of how we’re doing as a couple…well, sigh.

Charlie and I are embarking on a home-building adventure as we move into our new apartment, which has so far included undue amounts of stress and conflict regarding paint colors, taping techniques and the amount (or lack of ) care given to things like placement of objects in a loaded car. As the less conscientious half of this marriage, I wonder why certain things matter so much to him. He, I know, often wonders the reverse about me.

We both recognize that our differences are an asset. Truly. We mostly appreciate those things that make the other foreign, and how we complement each other. Except when we don’t. And it seems that lately, in the stress of moving and so much busyness, it is easy for us to have a less high-minded view of each other and fall straight into carnal, dog-eat-dog, you-will-like-my-Crepe-paint-color-or-suffer-the-consequences types of attitudes. It’s not pretty.

Listen, I was determined not to be this couple. I have watched far too many TLC house-flipping horror shows, the way once-loving couples are slowly reduced into haggard, animalistic individuals determined to have their own way. I knew better.

But I guess I am seeing that knowing better isn’t doing better. Apparently we are susceptible to the same struggles that seem like they would be so easily avoided on tv. Who knew.

But then there’s that moment. The softening of hearts. “I love you” breaks the silence. “I actually really like how this looks. You were right.” The humbling. The repentance. Maybe we can also measure our relationship by the frequency and sincerity of these moments. The muchness of Jesus in the midst of the meanness of self.

Now, back to work!

my retirement speech

Basically, I'm pretty much the most amazing person I know today. A total domestic goddess. Can I just brag to you for a second?

By God's grace I had the whole day off, which for Charlie and I means sleeping in past nine and eating breakfast after ten. I won't lie, this happens a lot. And it's awesome. Anyway, crepes for breakfast, and I was only a little bit mad that Charlie stayed in bed while I made them. This is amazing progress for me! We read the Bible - we are currently making our way through the book of Hebrews together and I am learning a lot. It's good for me to slow down and talk about what I'm reading. Very nice.

After lunch and some zombie tv show, Charlie headed off to work and I got busy. This really could have turned into a domestic disaster like the one I mentioned in an earlier post, but I think two things saved me this time: I stopped and rested, even took a nap this afternoon, when I was feeling myself getting tired. And maybe for this reason, I wasn't feeling like a slave this time. I actually felt totally joyful and privileged to be able to stay home all day and fart around the house. This, too, is progress!

I roasted butternut squash for a chowder I made, got dressed up real cute and brought stuffed tomatoes and veggies to Charlie at work for dinner, did buttloads (seriously) of dishes, and got the house looking really sweet for Joseph & Jarica to stay over tonight. All projects done! All missions accomplished! And here I sit with my feet up, savoring this rare and wonderful day and anticipating the arrival of a friend and her ice cream. Does it get better?

These days are rare, and I think that's why I have learned to appreciate them so much. I have often felt resentful of my (paying) job because my heart truly longs to be at home, making things lovely, making lovely things. And soon this will be my life!

Starting in October I'll be a stay-at-home.... wife! It seems too good to be true, and so of course sometimes I assume that it is. What am I missing?! God doesn't actually answer prayers, does He? I am honestly having a hard time believing this time has come. I think I am the luckiest lady in the world and at the same time am praying that there isn't some surprise sneak attack planned! Some day soon I will wake up and just...not have to go to work anymore. Wow. I don't have anything else to say right now, just wow.

calling it like it is!

I am currently using the Flip Bible Method of study. That means I flip open to whatever page I want and read until something catches my eye. I know this sounds less Christian than say, my disciplined husband's method of reading one book until he's done, but it's worked so well for me lately that I really have little motivation to change at this point.

So today I flipped open to Isaiah 59. I was captured right away:

"Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ears too dull to hear.

But your iniquities have separated you from you God;

your sins have hidden his face from you,

so that he will not hear.

For your hands are stained with blood,

your fingers with guilt."

Don't mean to be a Debbie Downer on this one. The truth is that I was actually really encouraged by these verses, and here's why...

I have been suffering with my friends lately. In the midst of a season of relative peace and tranquility in my marriage, I have had lots of excess emotional energy, which I have been using to over-analyze the trials and troubles of my friends. Betcha they're excited! Now, whether they need or appreciate my help is up for debate, and I'm not even sure that it's actually intentional on my part. But at this point I am just telling you how it is.

On one hand, I have been praying with more passion and learning to love them in this way. Good. On the other hand, it has been making me crazy, and straining my relationship with God. Not so good.

I tend to blame God for everything. When I see people struggling and hurting my first question seems to be, "Why, God?!" I act as if He is the one who sins and causes problems in our lives. Oh, wait...

Credit where credit is due! We, for the most part, don't require outside help to cause trouble in our lives. In fact, doesn't it seem to come naturally? If I'm honest as I look at my marriage or anyone else's, I can easily trace the issues back to people and sin, not to God.

I need God. I need Him for comfort as I'm overwhelmed by struggles I don't understand and don't know how to counsel. I need Him for wisdom as I try to speak and even to pray. I need Him for understanding, to sort things out in my head and my heart. And the second I start blaming and accusing Him, I cut myself off from all of these things and start to get so confused. The truth is that my iniquities separate me from God, just as my friends' iniquities separate them from God. It's not God's fault.

Oh, the relief of calling this like it is, of rightly labeling what's good good and what's evil evil. There is a peace that came with knowing the truth that we sin and God is good in the midst. So simple! So easy!

A pastor once told me that the Christian life isn't complicated, it's just hard =)

Bollywood, by special request!

Josie from our community group requested the following recipe and I was excited to share. Here's what makes it so wonderful:

tasty. just so, so good.

cheap. last time I made this for community group I doubled or tripled it and the whole thing, including bread and rice, cost about $9.

great for groups. easy to make, even ahead of time, and only mildly spicy so everyone can enjoy.

It's called "soup" but it's thick enough to serve over rice without sloshing around. Serve with naan, top with a dollop of plain yogurt, and you've got yourself a full meal deal. (And bonus for me, protein-obsessed pregnant lady, rice and beans together make a complete protein!) Without further ado...

Indian Spiced Chickpea and Fire-Roasted Tomato Soup

(thanks again, Rachael Ray)

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil, 2 turns of the pan

• 2 cloves garlic, chopped

• 2 cans chickpeas, drained

• 1 small onion, coarsely chopped

• 2 teaspoons ground cumin, 2/3 palmful

• 1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom

• 1/2 teaspoon turmeric

• Salt and pepper

• 2 cups chicken or vegetable stock

• 1 (28-ounce) can fire roasted tomatoes

• 1 cup plain yogurt

• Warm pita, any flavor or variety, toasted

Directions

Heat a medium pot with extra-virgin olive oil over medium heat. Add garlic and cook 2 to 3 minutes. Grind the chickpeas and onion in food processor. Add to pot and cook 5 minutes to sweeten onion. Season the chickpeas with cumin, cardamom, turmeric, salt and pepper. Stir in stock, then tomatoes. Simmer soup 5 to 10 minutes to combine flavors. Serve with a dollop of yogurt and warm pita for dipping.

(when I don't have cumin/cardamom/turmeric, I substitute generic curry powder for one or all, 1:1. Still tastes great.)

everybody loves a good martyr

How many times I have heard this from my husband...

"I would so much rather have you be happy when I come home than for the house to be clean, chores done, dinner on the table."

This is the man I married, these are his true sentiments, and it has taken me over a year to realize that he might actually mean them.

What I've learned over the past year is that the greatest gift I can give my husband is joy. He loves it when I'm happy, content with my lot, excited about him and our life together, joyful to see him when he walks in the door. And for some reason this can be the hardest gift for me to give.

I remember one defining day about a year ago, just a few months after we got married. I had worked early that morning and got off around noon, came home and GOT BUSY. I dragged my tired body all over the house, up and down the stairs to the laundromat, moving slower and slower and feeling more and more dejected (after all, what was I, a slave?!), but pressing on toward the goal. My goal, of course, was nothing less than perfection. I wanted everything to be done by the time he walked in, snack and slippers waiting by our grotesque orange armchair.

Well, he came home. And things were not done. No, when he walked in, unfolded laundry literally tumbled out of my hands as I stood in the middle of the living room, tears rolling down my miserable face. Welcome home, honey.

We laugh now. Not so funny then.

But things have started to change...slowly...since I started trying to take him at his word. I could immediately see the difference on his face as he came home to a disheveled house and a disheveled wife who had spent the afternoon reading nothing of importance at all and was perfectly relaxed. His countenance brightened and he was actually excited to spend the rest of the evening with this lovely person.

The past few days in particular have been the most relaxing I've experienced since we got married. When I'm tired and Charlie suggests I take a nap, I just do, instead of arguing that I haven't been awake long enough or done enough stuff to justify it. And I can tell you for sure that we are both better off for it. Then when I do tackle my reasonable list of chores (he helped me realize that I always attempt more than is humanly possible) I don't find them nearly as overwhelming.

And now that this is starting to make sense to me in the context of my marriage, I wonder about God. Could it be that he's not impressed with my attempts at perfection either? Would he rather have me just receive his gifts and love with gratitude instead of killing myself trying to pretend I'm earning them?

Oh, but I just love thinking I deserve all the good things in my life! The battle wages on.

(photo source here)